Loren

http://www.familyequality.org

I am very happy you mentioned this group. When I first began to really struggle over 20 years ago with my decision to come out, I found a gay fathers’ group in Des Moines. I found, as you did, that the group was enormously supportive. Everyone there knew exactly the conflict we each face as gay fathers, and it is often not well understood by gay men who have never been married with children. Many of those fathers remain my friends to this day, and Bruce, one of the men I met, was my best man when I got married recently.

I know from my correspondence with other men, that in some ways, the Internet serves a similar function for many. As Kevin mentioned, he found some support in some of the chat rooms. Unfortunately, it is hard to sort through all the pornographic sites to find ones which have good discussion groups which aren’t focused on casual sexual encounters.

“In a recent essay, I wrote, “What I was not prepared for was to be labeled by some in the gay community as a religiously bigoted, hypocritical, non-self-actualized, self-hating internalized-homophobic man because I delayed coming out until I was in the middle of my life.” There is a link under “Recent Posts” on this page to the essay, “Purgatory: Not Gay Enough to be Gay; not Straight Enough to be Straight”

Please see the link below. This is a great group that meets twice a month at a local church for just such upport. It is a safe place to come and talk, and tell each other about of our experiences. We have no answers, just a variety of experiences. The group holds social events which is a great place to learn what it means to be gay, outside of the usual places one thinks of. We are, after all, caught between two worlds.

http://www.GayFathersBoston.org

Jim