Comments on: Coping with Being Married and Gay http://www.magneticfire.com/2009/12/09/coping-with-being-married-and-gay/ Commentary on Being Gay in Mid-Life and Beyond Sat, 04 Sep 2010 11:05:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: William Moriarty http://www.magneticfire.com/2009/12/09/coping-with-being-married-and-gay/comment-page-1/#comment-204 William Moriarty Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:27:34 +0000 http://www.magneticfire.com/?p=552#comment-204 There is no answer to this man's problem. The pull of family against sexual feelings which will not go away has no easy answers. I know a lot of men (and some women) who have been in this situation. Their answers are distributed among the three possibilities Loren sugests. The presence of children just makes the decision that much more difficult. I would like to say to men and women living in this situation that EACH and EVERYONE of you gay and lesbian partners is unknown partner to you wife or husband. This is not fair as the consequences are immense. If you have sex outside the marriage and inside the marriage you expose your married partner to grave medical problems. As difficult as it might be to leave it is much less difficult then to come home one day to find your partner afflicted with something which you have passed on. When looked at from the prespective the choice ( difficult and hard ) is the only solution in my mind if you are having sex inside and outside the marriage. If you not having sex inside the marriage other choice are viable. You would be surprised to know how many men tell their wives and somehow they remain married. What is not viable is to hope that his attraction for older men will go away or subside. It is much more likely that his attraction will increase. There is no answer to this man’s problem. The pull of family against sexual feelings which will not go away has no easy answers. I know a lot of men (and some women) who have been in this situation. Their answers are distributed among the three possibilities Loren sugests. The presence of children just makes the decision that much more difficult.

I would like to say to men and women living in this situation that EACH and EVERYONE of you gay and lesbian partners is unknown partner to you wife or husband. This is not fair as the consequences are immense. If you have sex outside the marriage and inside the marriage you expose your married partner to grave medical problems.

As difficult as it might be to leave it is much less difficult then to come home one day to find your partner afflicted with something which you have passed on.

When looked at from the prespective the choice ( difficult and hard ) is the only solution in my mind if you are having sex inside and outside the marriage.

If you not having sex inside the marriage other choice are viable. You would be surprised to know how many men tell their wives and somehow they remain married.

What is not viable is to hope that his attraction for older men will go away or subside. It is much more likely that his attraction will increase.

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