I just received this comment in response to one of my earlier posts. I think it is important enough that I also want to share it in the blog.

I just thought I’d submit some ideas to this as well as my experience as of late. I am 40 years old and in April of last year finally left a destructive relationship with a guy of the same age after 16 years. The last thing I thought at the time was that I would meet someone again so soon….but to my amazement I met an amazing young man that was only 21 at the time. He is now 22.

I honestly dont think that I would have even given it a shot based on age, but as it turned out he is more mature, honest and sincere than most men of my age. Moreover, Ive never experienced the level of communication I have with him, ever!

Now, thats not to say that we do not have arguments or don’t see eye to eye on everything, but with the communication and honesty and maturity, I honestly NEVER think about the age difference between us. Never!

Some people have posted questions as to why this happens and why it works, and I agree to most of their points. One that I do not is the sexual part of it. I am not and was not looking for someone because they are “hot”. I never have. Although my other half now is very attractive, if he were not able to connect with me emotionally…..there would be nothing.

I did wonder in the beginning why someone that age would want an older guy just as many other posts have suggested. I also wondered whether or not it may have been some Daddy issue.

My partner and I have talked about this quite a bit and it really comes down to the fact that he just does not relate to the gay men his own age. He is more attracted to someone that is done with the gay scene and is more established.

As far as the mentoring part of it is concerned, I’m not sure I agree with that one completely. I think that he learns from me, of course, but what nobody has really mentioned is that no matter what relationship you are in, we all learn from each other.

Since I am older, I’ve noticed that older guys sometimes forget to just relax and have fun and not take things so seriously all the time!!!! I learn from my guy everyday just as much as he learns from me.

Going back to the sex part, in that way…yes maybe some mentoring there. Because I have been around for a bit longer, there are many things sexually he has not experienced. If anything was difficult in our relationship in regards to the age difference, it would be this area. In the beginning, we had some differences because I dont look at sex as having roles in a relationship, and since he is younger, he had not experienced sex in as many wasy. So for example, some sexual activities were hard for him because he thought of it as being conquered as opposed to looking at it as something he enjoys.

Alas, because of the great communication….this only lasted for a couple months. Now, its honestly the best sexual relationship we both have ever had.

I’d like to and will share more later because I think this is an important thing to discuss, I’m just out of time for the moment. Thanks for hearing me out and I hope this helps anyone who is going through this as well!