Dopamine is the molecule of pleasure, and sometimes it seems like we can’t get enough of it. It is released in massive doses in expectation — rather than during — a “reward.”

My granddaughters love to play “slap hands.” We rub our hands together, waiting for just the right time to suddenly slap the hand of the other. I can watch them squirm with anticipation of either the opportunity to slap my hand or the angst of getting their own hands slapped.

Grandparents seem to instinctively understand the “I’m a gonna get you” effects of Dopamine even though they may never have heard of it. Timing and unpredictability are critical, dumping loads of Dopamine into our grandchildren’s young brains.

Dopamine neurons tend to assimilate a lot of data about our lives most of which isn’t consciously comprehended. By the time we’re grandparents, we have had a lot of data to assimilate.

Foods and drinks release Dopamine, particularly comfort foods and chocolate, caffeine and alcohol, as do nicotine, marijuana, and illicit drugs like methamphetamine and cocaine. Getting approval is a less often thought of source of Dopamine, something which so many of us who are gay seem to be particularly addicted to.

Most of us have experienced a Dopamine rush in anticipation of a sexual experience only to experience a let down after it turned out to be less than expected. Couples who’ve been together for a while may expereince less pre-sex anticipation because their lovemaking has become more routine, and many of the “Who’s,” “If’s,” “How’s.” and “When’s” have been removed.
Sexually explicit on-line chat rooms are filled with clouds of Dopamine.

Smart lovers also know intuitively that putting a note in your partner’s lunch box, telling him how much you want him, will start the Dopamine generators. We went to see the film “The Independent Man” last night. How could any man, especially a mature gay man, go home from that movie and not want to make love with his partner.

Pope Benedict XVI, while still Cardinal Ratzinger, wrote, “the essence of being human is to use one’s reason and conscience to guide physical passions,” but reason makes up only about 1% of our thought while unconscious, Dopamine driven thought makes up the remaining 99%. Perhaps that is why it sometimes takes us a life time to realize that not every Dopamine rush must be gratified.

I recently wrote “Aging: A New Stage of Exploration for Adrenalin Junkies,” about older people involved in high risk behaviors as they attempt to work through their “Bucket List.” (For those of you who didn’t see this movie, it was about “the things a person wants to do before they kick the bucket.”)

Benjamin Franklin once wrote, “So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.” I think Franklin out did the Pope on this concept.

Dopamine has driven me to make some bad choices. I once made the mistake of getting on the “Silly Silo” with my grandchildren at the amusement park. There are others, too, of course, but I’ll leave you to reflect on yours, not mine.

Too much Dopamine can be stressful.

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