The rich can afford their indiscretions
The rich are said to be able to afford their indiscretions because they have the power and money to conceal them. Gay professional athletes, actors, wealthy businessmen and politicians are notable examples.
It is interesting to contrast their lives with a young Southerner who placed this (slightly edited) ad on Craig’s List, under “Men Seeking Men”:
Are there any other bi/closeted/gay (RED) NECKS like me around? I’m lookin for the real deal. Lookin for friends…more if we are alright together. Someone who likes to hunt, fish, mud, etc. Someone who smokes cigs, or dips, or both because I do both. Someone who if you were to come over to the house, no one would be able to tell. If you’re over 30 dont hesitate to respond, we just couldn’t hang out at the house with the buds. I ain’t out nor do I wanna be and I ain’t sayin a damn thang to anybody. SO YES DISCRETION IS A MUST!
Money wasn’t enough to help Lord Browne of Madingley, formerly Chief Executive of British Petroleum (BP) who was forced to resign when it was discovered that he had a relationship with Jeff Chevalier, a gay escort he’d met on a site called, “Suited and Booted.”
For several years, even though his homosexuality was something of an open secret, Lord Browne had refused to admit he was gay because he believed that the world of the corporate petroleum industry would not have been accepting of it.
Lord Madingley was alleged to have misused BP resource by making substantial payments to Chevalier, establishing him in luxury accommodations, taking him on holidays, purchasing clothes for him and establishing him in a business. Lord Browne was exposed as a liar, humiliating himself in the process. He is now in a relationship with a man and says that he is now feeling liberated even beyond the obvious ways.
Gay Malawi couple, imprisoned
In most of Africa heterosexuality is compulsory and there is no separate “gay identity.” Identity isn’t defined by the gender of ones sexual attraction and homosex isn’t seen as “real” sex. For many of these people, homosex is an act that one does, not an identity, something one is. Those who do identify as “homosexual” are ostracized, disempowered and discriminated against and threatened with prolonged jail terms.
In rural areas of Africa, as well as many rural areas throughout the United States and the rest of the world, there is an even greater requirement for hetero-normativity. The rural masculinity model means not only being heterosexually partnered but often includes a need to over-compensate by having multiple partners, particularly heterosexual ones.Because of this, many stay “imprisoned” in a heterosexual relationships they would rather not be in.
Resolving conflicts about sexual orientation is complex, and various closets exist within distinct and diverse cultures and societies. For those who are part of communities in rural America, immigrant populations and fundamentalist religions, three key institutions are involved: Home, church and school.
Homosexuality may be seen as a temptation by the devil, and may be seen differently depending upon whether or not one is the penetrative or non-penetrative partner. It may be seen as pernicious and threatening, but if it is a sin, thus forgivable, and it is said that Baptists love a repentant sinner.
Although Islam and Christianity, especially the most fundamentalist congregations, have fueled much of the bigotry toward the gay community, giving up ties to religious traditions is too much for some. When those religions see homosexuality as behaviors which are forgivable rather than identity which is immutable, they believe that through the power of prayer and healing, those behaviors can be, must be, changed.
In resolving the conflict about sexual orientation and disclosure of it, the place where each life intersects with his religious and cultural tradition is often the most challenging to resolve. Two things are true: 1. Same sex attraction is not going to go away, and despite their claims, reparative therapy can not make that happen, and 2. For the most part, religions are uncompromising on the issue of homosexuality.
But failing to address the conflict is not a resolution of the conflict. It often simply leads to living a pretence and continuing to engage in illicit sex in sleazy, clandestine venues like public parks and restrooms, exposing oneself and one’s partner to disease, the risks of public humiliation, and reinforcing a sense of shame and guilt.
I was raised in Africa and have lived in East Africa for nearly 30 years as an adult. I think your take on homosexuality in Africa is quite accurate. The comment “heterosexuality is compulsory” is quite true. While both mainstream Islam and Christianity do condemn homosexuality, it is also very much a cultural taboo. As you know Uganda has introduced a law to make it a capitol offense.
Health workers rightly blame the fact that gay men are “forced” to take female partners or spouses for the contribution in the rapid spread of AIDS.
But here is something that most likely is not published in the West. We are starting to talk about it, at least here in Kenya. Last December two gay Kenyan men were married in London. This has produced an on going country wide debate on a subject that was complete taboo even to talk about, even one year ago. I am finding an amazing attitude of “live and let live”, not a majority but I would say a significant minority.
I have set up a debate with our church youth group on “Is it right to discriminate against gays?” It is too early to start debates about agree or disagree with same sex marriage or is homosexuality a sin, but at least it is a start. It is looked forward to with much anticipation.
I am using the issue of gay rights to open up the general question of discrimination. As you probably know Kenya has experience much bloodshed, corruption and other sorrows due to tribalism, so my hope is to use this as an opening to further discussions.
I am also beginning to start discussions among my fellow clergy and I am finding some tentative support.
But back to your posting. Spot on!