Archive for June, 2010
Closing Arguments: Prop 8
This is an exceprt from Attorney Olson’s closing arguments in the Prop 8 trial in California:
And proponents’ counsel said — it came down to
24 this — “Same-sex marriage is simply too novel an experiment to
25 allow for any firm conclusions about its long-term effect on
CLOSING ARGUMENT / OLSON 2968
1 societal interests. They just don’t know.”
2 That is the essence of the case as it comes to the
3 end of the trial and to the closing arguments. They just don’t
4 know whether same-sex marriage will harm the institution of
5 heterosexual marriage.
6 And I submit that the overwhelming evidence in this
7 case proves that we do know. And the fact is that allowing
8 persons to marry someone of the same-sex will not, in the
9 slightest, deter heterosexuals from marrying, from staying
10 married, or from having babies.
11 In fact, the evidence was from the experts that
12 eliminating invidious restrictions on marriage strengthens the
13 institution of marriage for both heterosexual and homosexual
14 persons and their children.
To read the entire transcript, click here.
Iraqi LGBT Group Established

Iraqi LGBT remains the first Arabic gay right organisation in the world .
The origins lie in reports from friends in Iraq about the start of the murders there of gay men, lesbians and transsexuals. Iraqis gradually established a support network and this included safe houses for those threatened by militia, police or family.
Here is a link to their site: Iraqi LGBT
Iceland passes gay marriage law in unanimous vote
Iceland, the only country in the world to have an openly gay head of state, passed a law on Friday allowing same-sex partners to get married in a vote which met with no political resistance. (Reuters, see full article)

Loren and Doug Sept 26, 2009, Des Moines, Iowa
The Marriage Scorecard to Date:
Netherlands (2001)
Belgium (2003)
Spain (2005)
Canada (2005)
South Africa (2006)
Israel* (2006, marriages from other countries)
Norway (2008, Civil Unions since 1993)
Sweden (2009, Registered Partnerships since 1995)
Portugal (2010)
Iceland (2010)
The Internet — The Crack Cocaine of Sexual Addiction
Some refer to the Internet as the crack cocaine of sexual addiction; I once spoke with one man who said that he had masturbated 13 times that day. For him, Internet sex was a quick and easy way to feel numb.
Sexual addiction is a controversial concept with its validity as a diagnosis challenged, not only by many psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, but a majority of the general public believes that sexual addition is just an excuse for cheating.
“Symptom Checklists for Sexual Addiction” are frequently published in print and on web sites. Questions include: Do you purchase pornography? Are you preoccupied with sex? Do you feel bad about your sexual behavior? Do you hide your sexual behavior from your partner? Has your sex behavior interfered with your family life? I doubt there is any man who is coming out in midlife that can answer “No” to any of those questions.
For some sex is their only source of pleasure, soothing and acceptance while for others it guards against loneliness, emptiness and depression. Others seem addicted to a constant flow of validation and approval from complete strangers in order to compensate for their inability to approve of themselves.
For still others, constant sex is what gay men are supposed to do. Gay men are supposed to have sex all the time and ignore their needs for love and intimacy.

The pain of those seeking relief seems real enough. Psychiatrists contend that there are multiple psychiatric disorders which can have compulsive sexuality as one of the symptoms.
Most of the clinical descriptions of sexual addiction are taken from the treatment for alcoholism and drug abuse. Although the science associated with sexual addiction appears to be on the thin side, treatment programs based on talk therapy and 12-step programs continue to expand across the country.
A diagnosis of “Hypersexuality Disorder” is being considered for inclusion in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association in its fifth revision. As proposed, it is a condition characterized by a progressive disorder of intimacy, compulsive sexual thoughts and acts, fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation and compulsive love relationships. The diagnosis would require that certain psychiatric conditions where hypersexuality is a symptom be considered and eliminated before the diagnosis could be made.
Acceptance of Gays Excedes 50%
According to the Gallup website, in an article published on May 25, 2010 by Lydia Saal, “Americans’ acceptance of gay relations crossed the 50% threshold with the changes in acceptance led by men.”
Highlights:
Americans’ support for moral acceptability of gay and lesbian relations crossed 50% threshold in 2010. The percentage calling these relations “morally wrong” dropped to 43%, the lowest in a decade.
The change is almost exclusively among men, particularly men younger than 50.
There is greater movement toward acceptance among independents and Democrats with a big jump in acceptance among moderates.
There has been a 16-point jump in acceptance among Catholics, nearly three times the increase seen among Protestants.
A slight majority of Americans still are against legalizing gay marriage; however, the extent of that opposition is down slightly this year.
Acceptance for the legality of gay and lesbian relations is near the highest Gallup has measured.
Far fewer today believe that being gay or lesbian is the result of upbringing and other life experiences.
What Families Should Know About Hypocrisy
This a portion of the article called “Homosexuality and the Church Crisis,” written by Brian W. Clowes, April 19, 2010, for publication in a number of Roman Catholic publications:
Opponents of the Church know that there is a well-documented and strong correlation between male homosexuality and child sexual abuse, but claim that there is no evidence supporting this connection.
And, of course, those who are currently attacking the Church hope that they can undermine its moral authority to preach on the sinfulness of homosexual behavior and weaken its opposition to ersatz homosexual “marriage.”
This paper demonstrates that there is indeed a very strong link between male homosexuality and child sexual abuse. It also shows that there is a similar rate of child sexual abuse among other very large groups of adult males (e.g., Protestant clergy, who are usually married), thus proving that celibacy is not the root of the problem ─ homosexuality is.
(Dr. Brian Clowes is a graduate of West Point, a former A-Team leader for the Army Special Forces (“Green Berets”), and holds a PhD in Civil Engineering and Systems Science. He is Director of Research and Training for Human Life International, a pro-life missionary group.)
An open letter to Brian Clowes:
Brian,
I think I’ve said most of what I wanted to say.
One of my major issues is the way our culture tends to look at things in a binary way: gay/straight, good/evil, left/right, black/white, red states/blue states. We seem to have intolerance for ambiguity but want to categorize in an either/or way.
In-groups categorize out-groups, and vice versa. As I said before in mentioning that correspondent (who also called me a pagan and a Nazi), he doesn’t know me, and yet he insisted that he did because he knew one or two things about me (gay, psychiatrist).
He then halted any efforts to understand me in any other way than the characteristics he had assigned to me. When you wrote in your note, “Homosexuality is just wrong,” I am apprehensive, to say the least, about how you might use anything I say.
I still don’t know who you mean by “the leadership of gay activists.” I doubt that any of the gay men I know would be able to name them, perhaps would not even recognize their names. Gay men are as diverse as men are in general, so to think there is a group of people who speak for all of us is a bit absurd.
We constantly hear about a “gay agenda,” but where is it? Why haven’t I seen it or read it? When I asked someone to what they were referring, they pointed out some book written in the 70s. But since it is nearly impossible to prove a “negative,” we are accused of having an agenda and it is impossible to prove that there is not one.
As to the article reference I sent you earlier this evening (Christian right leader George Rekers takes vacation with “rent boy”), one of the things we get very reactive about is hypocrisy.
Over and over, those (mostly) men who have been most damaging to us have been caught with their pants around their ankles. I don’t believe homosexuality is wrong, but I do believe that hypocrisy is wrong.
I have no research interest in pedophilia or pederasty. My original research has been done on mature men who have sex with men; in order to capture information about non-gay identified men, I have purposely avoided the word “gay.” One large study suggested there are more heterosexually identified men who have sex with men than there are gay men, and that a significant percentage of men who are married have had sex with a man in the preceding year.
Age is a difficult issue. There is no doubt that the state has a duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves and very few would argue that point. Age is a number and represents chronological age. Age alone does not consider other elements that contribute to maturity and decision making e.g. culture, body, life experience, intellect etc. But talking about age brings us back to categorizing — and ignoring ambiguity– black and white, good and evil.
I once had a patient from Africa who was hospitalized for Bipolar Disorder. He sent for his wife to come to the U.S. and bring their infant twins. She was but 15 years old. I questioned him about how a 15 year old could possibly travel 36 hours from Africa to the United States without speaking English and bringing two infants with her. He said, “Dr. Olson, you don’t understand our culture,” and I didn’t. She was quite capable of doing something that neither of my daughters, quite capable and independent by U.S. standards, would have been able to do at age 15. I have never forgotten that lesson.
When you say that 1/3 of homosexual men have had sex with a child, I can not relate to that. It is not a part of my experience nor have any of the gay men I know shared that experience with me. Your statement is meaningless to me, first of all because I cannot figure out who “homosexual men” are. And who are “heterosexual men?”
Because of the varying age of men coming out, because many men conceal their homosexual behavior, and because there are many “heterosexual” men who have sex with men, there can be no meaningful sampling of homosexual men. What is the control group for heterosexual men? Have they been studied in a double blind fashion?
And all of the research related to homosexuality, even the best of it, is only demonstrating correlations, not causality.
Loren A. Olson MD DLFAPA
Gay Fathers’ Support Groups
I received this correspondence from a gay, married man:
I am a married gay man. I have been married to a woman for 18 years. I have two children I can’t bear to lose them. I need to find a support group for married gay men. Can you help?

I would suggest that you consider putting a notice on “Craig’s List in the “men meeting men” section and see if you can’t get some responses. In starting a support group, you don’t need to have a professional involved. There is basically only one rule: Any thing discussed does not leave the group.
I began my coming out process through a support group for gay fathers, and 25 years later, some of those men remain my friends. One of the most important benefits for me was see how “normal” and diverse the other fathers were. Many, like you, are very committed to their children and would do anything to avoid hurting them.
If you do decide not to remain married, laws protect gay fathers much more than they used to . In most states, being gay would not keep you from being involved as their father, even if your spouse tries to keep you from it.

I have discussed with my children their feelings about our divorce. I had believed that I thought the divorce was a bigger problem for them than my being gay. One of my daughters said that isn’t true because when a parent is gay, it never comes to full closure. Indeed, the must continue to “come out” much the same as that process is never complete for us.
One of the major issues for us is that we tend to over-estimate the negative consequences for being gay, and under-estimate the benefits of coming out. Of coure, you must come to your own decision about what to do, but you are certainly not alone.
Loren Olson
