Archive for October, 2011
Virtual Love; Real Loss
Greetings of peace! My name is Bart and I am from the Philippines.
I had a very sad love story when I was twenty. I had this guy who I met on the Internet. It was a gay dating site where we met. We always had wonderful conversations, all the moments I had with him was amazing. I can say he was the perfect guy for me. We always chatted. sitting and talking about anything under the sun.
Then he decided to meet me one day; I was surprised when he told me. He said he was serious. At first I did not believe him. He called me and he said he is coming to Manila and would spend time with me. I cried when I heard it. He even sent me mails that he was coming to Manila, and on the day he promised, gladly he did.
But I did not pick him up in the airport; instead, he wanted to see me in the bus station, and we went home together. I was very happy because I could not imagine, “Is this for real, this guy beside me?” Before, I only saw him on cam but now he was here! It was the happiest day I guess.
When we arrived at my home, I cooked him adobo. It was his favorite, he said, so I cooked and we ate together. How romantic. We talked long hours. Then we decided to sleep, I did not know that he only wanted fun, not love. I lay beside him he said, “Please go to me in bed or you will loose me forever.”
I had a very young mind at that time. We had a great night. The following morning he said, “I must go to Manila,” and I said him, “I thought you wanted to stay with me for weeks,” He told me he needed to visit other friends. I said I would go with him, but he refused. It was so sad.
I felt something was wrong. I felt unwell, and I walked to the rest room and cried. Then the guard asked me if someone had hurt me? It was so sad because my new friend just waved his hand as if to say, “Go away, I am done with you.”
Now, I am still searching for real love. I always make myself busy in school. I hope one day in my life, I will find a better man that will love me. I envy you because you have such a wonderful love-life.
Bart
<strong>Loren’s Comment:</strong>
Please offer your comments to Bart
Coming Out in New Jersey
OCT 11,2011 Is National Coming Out Day (NCOD) GLBT OF HUNTERDON COUNTY OF NJ
In Hunterdon County NJ It a great day because college and high school and local towns are doing lot of great thing on National Coming Out Day (NCOD).
The social/support can help you by give you info and a place where you can talk with other gay people. We have high school students, college student, parents and families, and staff from school would come to the social/support so you be able to talk with other people here and hunterdon county nj is one of the safe place for a gay couple to walk the streets and hold hands and onebody will said anything because hunterdon county has lots of gay couple and some have children so if you are look for a place to live then it hunterdon county nj. One of them is The social/ support in Hunterdon County Date: OCT 11 2011 Time 7pm to 9PM Place: NORTH COUNTY BRANCH OF THE HUNTERDON COUNTY LIBRARY 65 Halsted Street, Clinton,NJ 08809 Gay Support Groups Hunterdon County. We have social time and outing and events and some time guest speaker. Open to Gay,Lesbian,Bisexual,Teens,Adults,their friends parents,family members.We have a social time playing games and talk with each other and we some time have speakers.Next Meeting is OCT 11, 2011 (Tue) 7PM to 9PM Quest Speaker Ashley Planned Parent Hood. 7:30pm-9pm general meeting/socialization with potential for dinner at local diner NORTH COUNTY BRANCH OF THE HUNTERDON COUNTY LIBRARY 65 Halsted Street, Clinton,NJ 08809 for other upcoming social/support group go to http://www.glbtofhunterdoncountyofnj.com/ ALSO CHECK WEB SITE FOR NOV GUEST SPEAKER !!! For November check web site we having a good guest speaker. NOV Guest Speaker is Rob De Anthony need a job or look them this is the social/support meeting is for you. You will learn lot of people that are look to hire. Rob De Anthony will come and tlak baout get a job and other great service that Out Youth has to help the young adults you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight youth. so please come and listen and make some new friends and you will be happy. First and foremost let us introduce ourselves to you! We are the board of directors of Our Youth and we are writing in regards to our non profit organization and your great company. Our Youth is a non profit organization designed to help gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight youth (ranging from 15-21) in the New York / New Jersey area. Our Youth assists the young adults with job placement, college assistants, offering FREE & confidential HIV testing referrals as well as home cooked meals and a weekly support group. Besides providing services within the Our Youth Center we are also out in the community feeding the homeless, walking to find a cure for a certain disease, as well as volunteering at any event we are needed. Gay support groups in NJ http://www.gaysupportgroupsnj.com/ Gay forum: http://gaysupportgroups.wordpress.com/
A Big Step Toward Psychiatric Retirement
I regret that time has not allowed me to enter posts recently. After 36 years of practicing psychiatry, I decided to give up my private practice. It has been an emotionally draining and time consuming project. I now have a big back up of things to get written and posted and hopefully I will also have more time to do so.
In response to this decision, I decided to write an essay about what it was like, and it has been a popular essay on the Psychology Today web site. Here is an introduction to the essay and a link to the entire article: “Door Knob Revelations.”
As therapists, we’ve all learned that our patients reveal their most painful conflicts during the last thirty seconds of a session, just when they are ready to leave the office. Often they already have their hand on the door knob. Recently I experienced this rather dramatically as I terminated with a woman I had seen for about 25 years.
I first saw this woman, now in her mid-seventies, during some of the darkest hours of her life. I treated her for major depression with a combination of medication and psychodynamic psychotherapy. During more recent years her symptoms remitted, so I saw her only every three or four months for about twenty minutes to renew her medications and to catch up on her life.
At the beginning of her final session with me, she initiated our meeting by saying, “Dr. Olson, I read your book [Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, a Psychiatrist's Own Story]. I learned a lot more about you than I needed to know!” With some anguish in her voice, she asked, “Why did you do that?”
I told her that I felt I needed to reveal some of the most private details of my struggle with my sexual orientation in order for the reader to connect with me. I wanted the reader to know that I understand from the inside what the experience of coming out in mid-life is like. I wanted to convey that I had experienced how difficult it is to let go of an inauthentic life for one that is more true to oneself.
I also told her that I could not have written it earlier in my professional life because I would not have wanted my patients to know me in such a deeply personal way. I now realize that writing Finally Out was my own career door knob revelation.
After spending most of her time processing what her treatment experience with me had been like, in the last thirty seconds she stood up to leave and said, “I’ve always thought I might be a lesbian.” After 25 years and countless hours together, it was only then that she finally felt comfortable enough to reveal to me her long held secret. Then she asked if it would be appropriate to give me a hug, thanked me, and left my office for the final time.
To read the rest of the article, click here.